I know way too many people who unconsciously live this way.  Their workdays are a series of to-do lists, “must-do’s” and “just get through it’s”.   They take their first real breath of the week as they walk into their home on Friday, and then Monday comes and you hear the response to “how was your weekend?” – “way too short”.

What if every moment of your life was worth “working for”?  What if you were working for NOW?  Many of the clients I work with are dealing with overwhelm, frustration and overall exhaustion.  Even if they WERE able have a moment, take a breath and enjoy any of the spoils that came with all their hard work, they are too worried about everything that hasn’t been done or what they should be doing or are so exhausted that they miss the weekends too!

I know that there are things that have to be done that none of us particularly enjoy.  It takes bravery to pause, look up, and ask yourself if you can do better – if you can create a life where you enjoy the now? 

Why wait for the weekend?  

fearlessstories.com

You can take it with you. Your comfort zone, that is. You know, that cozy place that all these books and seminars and gurus keep telling you to leave. Leaving is scary, so sometimes even if you claim to be seeking “discomfort” (oof), maybe you really aren’t. But see, a zone is like a territory, or like a country. And the thing about leaving your comfort zone is that you’re not a tourist, visiting these risky new places for a little while and then retreating back home. No, you’re an imperialist, putting forth a considerable effort to extend your borders over an area that wasn’t always yours. There’s a reason that board game is called Risk. But once that happens, your zone is bigger, and you are comfortable doing more things. You can survive job interviews. Extreme sports. Awkward social situations. What I find people forget to tell you about leaving your comfort zone is that you’re not supposed to return to it, wipe your sweaty brow and say “phew, well that was ultimately healthy, I’m sure. Now to never do it again.” The idea is to make the uncharted realm the newest part of your zone and say “I don’t necessarily have to come back here again, but at least I know I probably can if I want to.” Always making an effort to test yourself is important, but don’t forget to take stock of where you are, and how your recently contested comforts are developing. fearlessstories.com

However, there’s a different kind of fear that can creep up and debilitate you without ever raising its flag to indicate to you the level of importance of something.  This fear is so tricky that you wouldn’t even call it fear.   You call it “rules” or “conservative estimates” or “wise criticism”.  This fear is fueled by what other people think, or more accurately what you THINK other people will think.

Yesterday I was on a panel at the Columbia Women In Business Conference discussing starting a start-up.  All the panelists were asked to give our “60-second Elevator Pitch” to kick off the panel.  The night before, my debilitating fears, or what I call my “Gremlins” drove me to review my elevator pitch, outline what I was going to say, and fret about how good the others would be and what they would think of mine.

As I sat waiting my turn to “pitch” I observed everyone following the rules – they politely and professionally passed the microphone from panelist to panelist and gave their succinct pitch.  They were good.  I was scared.   And miraculously, my stomach started churning and I thought “WAIT!  This is super-important!  I need to do what I need to do here, not what I think others need me to do!”  When I got the mic, I stood up and asked everyone to put their feet flat on the ground and close their eyes for a few seconds.  I asked them to imagine what their life would be like 5 years from now – who they were with, what they were doing, what they were feeling.  When they opened their eyes I told them “This is what I do – I help people and organizations get from where they are today to where they want to be. ”   and passed the mic on to the next panelist. I broke the rules, but I knew everyone would walk away not only knowing exactly what I did, but who I am.

In that moment I saw clearly the difference between debilitating fear (gremlins) and motivating fear (passion) and reconfirmed that I needed to stop listening to the ones that come from my head, and pay very close attention to the ones that come from my heart.